a first Love that Endures

A connection made at the age of seven has sustained and nurtured me, guarded my privacy, given me a voice, captured my tears, helped me reflect and remember, encouraged my imagination and dreams, protected my prayers, listened without judgment, and allowed me to scream and swear. My close confidant has helped me become and sometimes return to myself, while serving as a guide toward discovering my inner wealth. Not once has this loyal friend ever told me how to live or how to be; it simply shares a new page with the start of each day, while it quietly and patiently communes with me. My childhood connection has evolved and matured, but it all began with two words.

“Dear Diary,” were the two words that invited in a private world where possibilities never end. Two words that I wrote countless times, ushering in a lifeline and a love affair with one I can always turn to, with one who is always there. I can see those two words, first penned, as if they were just written. I remember the excitement that flooded within after learning the purpose of my wordless book – a treasured gem. Not much larger than my small hand, my blue book was held together by a clasp and secured with a tiny gold key, that I kept hidden, away from my older sibling. Easy enough for him to break into, if he so chose to do, and I am sure he did, a time or two, but that sliver of a key, the protector of my secrets, was a cherished possession for me.

That first little diary is long gone, along with many other used-up pages, bound together and bound to me. Oh, how I would love to spend an afternoon reading my childish whims that flowed into pre-teen dreams, that then exploded into teenage angst, rebelliousness, and pain, giving me many details to spill onto each blank page. If given that chance, I would remember moments long forgotten, relive each scene scribed, while noticing my changing penmanship with the passing of time. Sadly, those private pages probably disintegrated long ago after being tossed into a landfill somewhere in Colorado. At least those pages containing my private thoughts were biodegradable and I choose to believe my words enriched the dirt after being shuffled and consumed by grubs and earthworms.

I no longer begin a journal entry with the two words, “Dear Diary,” but I have never stopped turning to my open confidant to share my thoughts…

    sometimes focused,

      sometimes incoherent,

        sometimes the start of something brilliant –

          the words I let flow onto my love, bare,

            continuing my expressive love affair


✍ 💕

I imagine there are many reading this post who journal, or find themselves routinely writing down personal thoughts at some point during the day. I can’t imagine living any other way!

Thank you for visiting and reading. Be well. 💗 Michele

If you are looking for a boost for your storytelling and/or journal writing, I highly recommend the book, The Story You Need to Tell, by Sandra Marinella. The engaging text is packed with journal prompts and compelling true stories, including Sandra’s brave journey of facing and surviving breast cancer. I work with Sandra, assisting her with online writing workshops, and I can attest to her gifted abilities of teaching, creating sacred writing spaces, and encouraging honest and riveting storytelling, often from people who claim to not be writers. It is truly inspiring.

Click image to visit book site. 📗

Photos taken by me.

For best viewing, visit https://myinspiredlife.org/2021/01/30/a-first-love-that-endures/ directly (vs. email delivery or WordPress Reader)

© 2021 Michele Lee Sefton. All Rights Reserved.

62 thoughts on “a first Love that Endures

  1. I think we are richer in thought and writing because of that beloved diary.
    Your writing just hits me , Lee. You say what has been lying dormant in my inner soul.. I could so connect to what you wrote here. This post needed to be written and who better than you who can understand the intricacies of our inner self ..
    I still keep paper and pen near my bed but before I lose my verse, I quickly write ✍️ it down in my notes on my mobile. But I still love to scribble. It’s an old world charm of a thing. Real writing maybe ..
    well, you have yourself a safe and happy weekend, Michelee ❣️☀️

    Liked by 4 people

    1. That beloved first diary. Many followed, but I remember the excitement that flooded my nerdy little self when I learned that I could write anything I wanted to an imaginary Deary. How life-changing and life-sustaining. 💓
      I hope my hits are soft and don’t leave a mark. 😆 I am beyond delighted to read that my writing stirs something in your inner soul. I experience similar emotions when I read your transcendent poetry. 💕 Most of my public writing happens on the screen, but nothing can replace the experience of writing with a pen, allowing the thoughts to flow onto a page. It is a magical and mysterious process. ✍
      Thank you, Yassy, you do the same. 😊

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Wow this brought back memories, I kept a diary when I was growing up too, don’t know where they ended up. Now I keep a journal of our travels but not my thoughts. It’s a healthy thing to do I think, to write down your thoughts, feelings and emotions.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. I love that you keep a travel journal, and that you travel. How wonderful! Yes, writing my thoughts, feelings, and emotions has been most helpful for me. Less expensive than therapy! 😂 And more creative. ✨ Thank you for reading and walking down “Dear Diary” memory lane with me. 🙏

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Vicki Parham

    I did not expect to find Dear Diary as your confidant, I was pleasantly surprised as the memories of my journaling came back to me.
    Thank you for reminding me of my childhood and the need for a reflection!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Diaries and notebooks have been my constant confidants throughout the years. 💖 They are the best listeners. 😆 They also don’t mind misspelled words.😉

      Thank you for joining me on my journal reflection. Keep writing and reflecting, friend. 🤗

      Like

  4. It was lovely to read about your history of journaling – but sad that your early diaries ended up in landfill! I still have some diaries from my teenage years at my father’s house…maybe I’ll return to them one day!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. The loss of my early diaries is a long story… a page, or two, in a journal. I have filled and saved many since my young adult years. My most cherished journal is one I wrote during the year that I was expecting my daughter. Written details that would otherwise be long forgotten. The greatest gift was watching her read that journal a few years ago. She was engrossed and read every page in one sitting. I wish I had seen the same attention with her HS required reading. 😂

      I started looking through a few old journals in the writing of this post. You should revisit yours.
      Thank you, Ingrid. 😊

      Liked by 2 people

      1. I wrote journals after both of my sons were born, but I don’t journal much these days. Only the odd quarantine diary’ which I post here! I’m pleased your daughter enjoyed reading yours 😊

        Liked by 1 person

  5. I cannot imagine not journaling every day. It helps me process, understand, and evolve. I write things I’m grateful for, phrases I can’t get out of my head, new words ive become infatuated with, etc. I believe I started journaling around 7 or so as well, but became inspired to do so because my older sister kept a diary which I was so envious of. I still have that teal and purple diary, although I might be too embarrassed to read it. Thanks for sharing : )

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for visiting, reading, and sharing your thoughts, E.L. I can relate to your words. I write in a journal and meditate most days. When I do not, something is off, I feel off. There are no limits to how we can use a journal and what we can write on the blank canvas. A few years ago, when I was going through a difficult time, I kept a gratitude journal. I forced myself to write ten things I was grateful for. Doing so was the last thing I wanted to do, but it helped me get through a rough patch. I love that you started journaling at such a young age too and have kept up with it. Bravo, fellow journaler. I will visit your site soon. Best to you!

      Like

  6. The Eclectic Contrarian

    I had a diary. But I wasn’t a writer back then. And I thought there was nothing to write about back in those days. It’s funny how things change over the years.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. “Back then” we were all learning… how to write, how to live, or maybe how not to live. I can only imagine what I wrote about in those early Diary years. Friends, playground adventures, school, boys, Skateland, our neighborhood tree fort, my family, my pets… 😄

      Yes, it is funny how things change and that can be a blessing. Some things never change though. Thank you for visiting and sharing. 🙏

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Three things:

    1) Awww… That’s so sweet ❤
    2) For some reason, I have very little motivation to only write for myself – my writing just doesn't flow unless I know somebody else might read it.
    3) My Mom kept diaries as a girl and wrote them in Lithuanian (when that country was part of the USSR). Today, my mother still speaks Russian, but she has forgotten Lithuanian, and she cannot read her childhood diaries.

    Yours,
    David

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Three is a special number, especially when there are three of them. 😄 Writing for an audience does give our words a destination and raise our motivation to produce a polished product. Journals, for me, are a great place to jot down ideas that might turn into something I share, along with countless other things I might write. I love that your mom has her childhood diaries, but it is a sad irony that she cannot read them. Almost like a different lifetime for her. 💗

      Thanks, David, for sharing three. 😊

      Liked by 1 person

  8. Poetpas

    A diary is an excellent confidante and trustworthy friend. We should write them and keep them so we can look back and reflect how we were and how much we’ve changed. Good post!

    Liked by 2 people

  9. Confidants and trustworthy friends enrich our lives. If we are fortunate those rare friends show up in human form. Like close friends, diaries and journals provide a place for us to share, vent, celebrate, create, or anything else that flows from our pen. Writing in a journal can can help us to feel lighter by carrying our heavy thoughts – heavy lifters they are. 📝💪 So true, looking through old journals for this post delivered deep pondering and meaningful reflection.💖 Thank you, Poetpas.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. I always loved the idea of keeping a journal, and I did sporadically, but I never made it a daily habit until just before I started here at wordpress. I did about 28weeks of morning pages following Julia Cameron’s “The Artist’s Way”. It didn’t really break my creative block but it was a comforting morning ritual – even if it’s barely legible! 😁

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I stumbled onto Julia Cameron’s book just before I started my blog, during the summer of 2019. I enjoyed the book and I also did the morning pages for several months. I failed most weeks with the “Artist Dates,” but overall I enjoyed the weekly prompts and activities. I still journal every day, but not three pages, like she suggests. Bravo to you for following the morning writing ritual. I understand about writing being “barely legible,” especially three pages, early in the morning. 😆 Thank you for visiting and sharing your journal experience.

      Liked by 1 person

  11. I have kept a diary since I was ten years old. It is one of the earliest reasons I came to love writing. Looking back on my younger self, I am often amused and more often left in awe of the simplicity of my younger mind.
    Loved your thoughts on this! It is indeed a love that endures. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you fellow journaler. 😊 Oh, the musings of young minds. Maybe our personalities haven’t changed too much, but we certainly have more to write about! We will keep sharing love (and some angst too) with a lasting love. 💗

      Liked by 1 person

  12. As a kid and teenager, I journaled extensively. My diaries were my best friends. Your post took me to a nostalgic trip. I remember writing my first journal when I was 10, and I started with the words “dear diary”. It felt like a whole new door opened up for me to express myself. Journaling is amazing. I still journal a lot, not on a daily basis, but whenever I feel like letting something out.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Your comments are so relatable for me. My go to journals are the standard comp books… a place for my thoughts to land. Sometimes they expand and evolve into more than my quick scribbles and thoughts, but most often they just need to exist on the page, outside of me. ✍ 💖

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much. 🙏 I have published poetry chapbooks, but the book featured in this post, The Story You Need to Tell, was written by Sandra Marinella. I work with her, teaching writing workshops.

      Like

  13. Lorraine

    Thank you. I appreciate this relationship you have to your diary, Michele. I kept journals through high school and into college that helped me to vent, share observations on my expanding world, and process things that would be difficult to discuss. I turned to journaling this past year to process grief and trauma and received insights and comfort in my words.
    I ordered Sandra’s book and am looking forward to writing more. Journal on!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. How wonderful, Lorraine! You will love her book. It is packed with research, stories, and prompts. Let me know if you are interested in joining us for a writing workshop. They typically last four weeks and are offered through Changing Hands Bookstores or through her independently. I am confident you would enjoy the experience. Thank you for sharing your personal experience with journaling. I hope that you are continuing to find healing with whatever you are facing and that journaling continues to bring you insight and comfort. Be well. 💖

      Like

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