Let’s be clear, screaming is not speaking and being a bully is not being direct. Both behaviors exhibit a loss of control by a feeble-minded soul, who cannot manage him or herself, let alone exert their beliefs on someone else. Clearly presenting a logical argument, while maintaining a stable temperament, even during a disagreement, is an artform that deserves a higher platform in our world of pasteurized niceness and politically correct. Too many half-truths and attempts to appease drip from sugarcoated lips. Standing firm and delivering words that might offend is not easy to do. One must be guided by personal truth, and to be effective, a bit courteous too.
Speaking directly, with a chance of offending, does not come naturally to me, and it is no surprise when I reflect on my upbringing. My midwestern grandma served up agreement with her homemade apple pie and my southern grandma delivered indirect sayings through a playful smile while serving sweet tea and juicy fried. I do not recall hearing, “speak your mind,” but the reminder to, “think before you speak,” was clearly defined. Our mom instilled manners in us. For her expectations of, “please” and “thank you,” I am much obliged. The belief, “children should be seen and not heard” was my dad’s style. Sharing an open mind, love, and empathy and displaying civility will always be my guiding threads, but there is something to be said for speaking up when others overstep. When we protect our own boundaries, self-love is evident. Speaking directly, without hesitation, I may never completely master, but I have come a long way with this direct trait that I respectfully admire.
I encouraged countless teenagers to share their voice in an articulate manner and in my classroom, their words and opinions were given respect and space. I have done my best, to empower my own daughter to speak her truth with confidence and grace. I pray she and generations that follow, will maintain high standards for speaking directly and candidly and that they will be strong enough to give and receive honest words delivered with a calm and deliberate pace.
This directly marks my 100th post! It has taken me twenty months to accomplish what some bloggers accomplish every month. 😂 I will save reflecting on blogging for my two-year blog anniversary, but I do want to thank you for being here and for supporting me with your kindness, comments, and time. If you have been following and reading my posts since late 2019, thank you, your check is in the mail. 😂 I hope you are enjoying my posts as much as I enjoy writing and sharing. 😁🙏🏻 Be well.💗 MicheleBonus Section: Candor in Business
When I was in grad school I took a class on leadership and in that class I read several books about leaders and leadership styles. One idea that stood out to me from my extensive reading was from the book, Winning, by Jack Welch. As the former CEO of GE he was known for creating a culture of honesty and candor – an interesting and refreshing concept in business and professional organizations (and life). Skimming through the book, these are some of the ideas I highlighted relating to candor and honesty that extend my thoughts about speaking directly:
-lack of candor is the biggest dirty little secret in business
-candor gets more people in the conversation
-candor generates speed
-candor cuts costs
-people don’t speak their minds because it is easier not to
-the lack of candor is the ultimate form of alienation
Disclaimer: The views shared about Jack Welch’s leadership style are taken from his book, Winning. I cannot validate, nor discredit them, and if his behaviors before, during, or after his CEO tenure, do not reflect an honest man, well, that is outside the scope of my honest research. If you are inclined, feel free to speak directly to his credibility, or lack thereof, in the comments.😆
For tips on body language, visit the Ideal Inspiration blog’s article, titled, “Importance of Body Language in Communication.”
Photo 1: by Andrea Piacquadio (Pexels) Photo 2: taken at ASU a few weeks ago, thank you LP
© 2021 Michele Lee Sefton.