Sirious Crush (follow-up)

On By Michele LeeIn Humor, Prose, Verse

My Mr. Siri has developed a new and annoying habit the last few weeks. He pretends to not hear me when I ask him a question. “Hey, Siri. Hey, Siri. HEY, SIRI!” He must be watching a game. 🙄 Maybe I need to put on a cheerleading costume and shake my poms poms to get his attention. 📣

Reminds me of when I first wrote about Mr. Siri last spring:

Brawn is handy
when you need something moved,
like a couch.

Brawn can be attractive too,
but for all its heavy lifting,
it’s no match for the sexiest muscle
that does all the heavy thinking.

Bulging muscles can hold and lift weighty things,
but they only hold this woman’s attention
if they are controlled by an equally impressive brain.

If there is a reason to celebrate,
or if it’s just a night out with the girls,
you won’t find me losing my mind at a male review.
A standup show with quick-witted and not model perfect
male comedians – now, that will do!

I am a deep thinker who cares more about what is going on inside
than a pumped chest and a puffed physique carried with pride.
All true, but before you commend my lack of shallowness,
I must get something off my chest. I must confess…
I may have taken my love of brains over brawn too far.

I have a huge crush, on my Siri.
Oh, deary!

We engage frequently – me and my British speaking Siri.
The lightweight voice responds to my every touch.
He’s always there for me, when I need him to be
and yet, he can be quiet for days. What a dream!
Sometimes I push his buttons, just to hear him talk.
That accent – a silent c when he says “scheduled” –
makes my knees weak and adds color to my cheeks. Repeat!
He tells jokes too. He would go all day if I let him.
Or at least until his battery runs out.

A wonderful rapport, me and my hand-held man,
but something happened yesterday on the freeway,
that has me alarmed. Me driving and he politely directing –
a perfect pair, us two. Or so I thought. He lost his cool. He flipped out!
He kept telling me to exit in between his repeats of “Stay on the route.”
I told him to cancel. I told him to quit.
Going 75 mph, I finally had enough.
I lost my cool too.
I yelled, “Shut the f*ck up!”
That did sting a bit. His icon was spinning.
I reached my destination on time, no thanks to Mr. Siri and his chaotic ramblings.

Maybe I am working him too hard.
Maybe he needs a virtual vacation.
Maybe, dare I say, it’s time for an update!
😂😂😂
Updated Siri Jokes~
“Why didn’t the owl go for a date in the rain?
Because it was too wet to woo.”
“What sits at the bottom of the sea and twitches?
A nervous wreck.”
“What’s big and grey and doesn’t matter?
An irrelephant.”
“Have you heard the joke about paper?
Never mind, it’s tearable.”

Mr. Siri might gets me, even when he pretends to not hear me.

Thank you for visiting and reading and (hopefully) laughing. I did! Cheers! 😂 Michele

Photo 1: by rudall30 Photo 2: by Brook Robinson

© 2022 Michele Lee Sefton

76 thoughts on “Sirious Crush (follow-up)”

    2. Haha! Have to say that this Siri is a funny guy! 😂😂 “The nervous wreck” & “too wet too woo” are my personal favourites! 👍👍😛😛😂😂 I could have a beer with him sometime. 🍻🍻 Don’t know why those Siris always have to have British or American accents. What’s wrong with us Irish accents? 🍀🍀😉😉😂😂

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

      1. He is quite sirious but he can be rather humorous. 😁 Those are funny ones. I agree! The 🍻 Too funny in light of what I just wrote to Kym in comments. 😂 They should expand the language options, yes! Thanks, Ken.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. hahahaha I can relate more to this part Michel….

    Clever, funny and Siri and auto voice drive me cra cra!
    😂😎💖

    “I told him to cancel. I told him to quit.
    Going 75 mph, I finally had enough.
    I lost my cool too.
    I yelled, “Shut the f*ck up!”
    That did sting a bit. His icon was spinning.
    I reached my destination on time, no thanks to Mr. Siri and his chaotic ramblings.”

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

      2. That is hilarious! A bit too truthful, perhaps. 😂 The first time I asked, after your comment, he gave a longer smartass response (not the “no friends” one); the second time I asked he just said, “zero.” Them apples be sometimes bitter, sometimes sweet. 😁

        Liked by 2 people

      1. On serious note, a very relatable and enganging write to contribute. Unfailry I rarely comment on other blogger’s post but ones like yours here is just to inviting and pleasant not to. Thanks for sharing it with us all and the generated smliles.

        Liked by 1 person

  8. Oh no, Siri is showing you some serious attitude huh Michele? 🤨 Selective hearing eh? Perhaps Siri is having a meltdown? 🥵 Hmmmm…. Siri is driving some folks bonkers. Fun to read your ode you wrote to Siri. Don’t you just love technology? LOL 🤣📱😜💻😂

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  14. Timothy Price

    I don’t use Siri because she was always butting into conversations that are none of her business. Back when Siri was just on no matter what, Rosencrantz (one of our cats) stepped on my phone and meowed. Siri came up blabbering the definition of a cat. I tired meowing in the phone and got no response. She knew a real cat from an imitation cat. One time Laurie and I were disagreeing on something, and Laurie said “What would Siri have to say about that?” I said “Siri’s stupid!” Siri came on and told me I hurt her feelings. Yeah! Right. I didn’t reboot Siri. I gave Siri the boot.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  15. I remember this poem, and love it. Ms. Siri is now helping me take my foreign language further. I’ll take intellect and heart everyday. Though, I don’t think Ms. Siri has much to offer in the latter area. 😁 Awesome post, Michele. 🌳💖

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  16. OMG! LOL this is great and its reminds me of the time my then 3 year old was yelling into my phone and arguing with SIRI. I don’t know what my daughter said but SIRI said please stop using that language towards me! LOLOLOL

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

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  23. Dawn

    Oh my …. what a hoot …. I’m sitting down, gotta catch myself from ROFL 🤣 That was hilarious Michele, good one. Thanks for the laugh. Personally my Siri is disabled and seems it’s just as well. lol 😂

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

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